The only thing which excites a straight man more than a naked woman is two of them. And in action. Lesbian porn happens to be the most sought category in porn sites according to statistics. Yet, what chance does a straight man have to join two lesbians? Probably the chance equals qualifying as a tennis player in a tournament which says “All sports, but tennis”.
How do things look from the perspective of a woman whose sexual desires are directed towards partners of the same sex? All you need is to ask. Here is a closer look at what being a lesbian is.
Interview with a girl who preferred to stay anonymous. (girls only)
Q: Do you open in front of other people about being a lesbian?
A: My family and friends know and some of my colleagues do, too. I am not a very open person, this is not in my nature. In most matters, which concern only me, am a very private person.
Q: When did you begin to realize that you were attracted to women and not to men?
A: I realized I had an attraction to women long before I knew what the word “lesbian” meant. My first love was my girlfriend from the preschool years. We studied together till we finished high school. She’s not a lesbian, although she was the one who helped me realize what my sexual orientation was. For some reason, she knew more about being a lesbian than the actual lesbian in me! I moved to another city to study at university and during my first holiday back home I told my family that I was a lesbian.
Q: How did they react?
A: They were not too excited about it.
Q: Have you ever been with a man?
A: When I first came out, a lot of my friends told me that I had to try to have sex with a man – just to know for sure. But I never did. I have never ever in my life been attracted to a man. I know a lot of lesbians who have slept with men, but I am simply not one of them.
Q: Are you in a relationship now?
A: My partner and I have been together for three years now. It’s a serious relationship, we are life partners.
Q: What is your sex life like?
A: Pretty good. I would say I am a bit conservative and shy when it comes to sex, but my partner is wild. She always wants to try new things, toys, and weird places to have sex. During the lockdown, I discovered how wild her imagination could be when it comes to sex. For me, when I was growing up, sex was somewhat of a mystery. I knew how heterosexual relationships worked because that’s what all the other teenagers talk about and no one talks about how gay sex works. I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the person to bring up this topic! This shyness of mine has always kept me on the conservative side. With her, I rediscovered my sexual life. She is a bit older than me and has a different approach to life, making her the more experienced of us.
Q: What is the craziest place you have had sex in?
A: A lot of places. We travel together a lot, so we have done it in different countries, but to answer your question, I am not going to tell you the craziest place I’ve done it. I’d rather tell you my favorite place to do it. I love camping. I camp whenever I have the chance. I took my partner when we first started dating and we had sex by the lake in the full-moon light. Best sex memory of my life, up to now, of course.
Q: What kind of sex toys do you use?
A: We have a small box in the closet with different kinds of vibrators, dildos, and a magic wand. In the beginning, I was a bit skeptical about using toys, but over the years I have grown fond of vibrators.
Q: What is your favorite sex position?
A: For me, it is the old-fashioned missionary. I know my partner thinks it’s boring, but hey, I am entitled to have my own preferences.
Q: Have you ever had a crush on one of your teachers?
A: That is such a classic cliché! But yeah, of course, I have. I believe we all have had a crush on a teacher at some point in our academic life. It’s very easy – when we were in our puberty, and we all had a hot teacher, no matter what our sexual orientation is, chances are we are going to have a crush on them at some point. I wish my teacher had liked me back. Maybe my personality would be a lot different now. Who knows?
Q: Have you ever been bullied because you are queer?
A: I have always tried my best to stay away from trouble. Ever since I was young I’ve not been very popular. I am shy, but not an outcast. In a way, I have managed to escape situations of bullying.
Q: Do you and your partner think of starting a family and having a baby in the future?
A: We have definitely talked about this a lot. Having a baby is a big decision that can’t be taken lightly. We have agreed that it’s not the right time for us, but I surely see a baby in our future. A lot of people, and I mean heterosexual people, think that just because we have a different sexual orientation, we are different in general! It’s not right – we are like any other couple. We love each other, we have sex, we have rows, we have dry spells, the same fears and plans for the future. We are different and unique like all other people. We are individuals who seek to find happiness.
Q: Do you think you have come to terms with your sexuality?
A: For me, I believe I have. I have worked hard on discovering my real self and identity. I just kind of wish I hadn’t wasted all that time figuring out who I am. I believe if I hadn’t spent all that time on a soul-searching trip, maybe I could have become a scientist or invented some seriously helpful thing for the world. It seems like a lot of effort to spend on one issue. When I have children, I will make sure they don’t waste any time on self-doubt as I did.
Truth is, we are all unique, each person is a universe of emotions, feelings, and thoughts and yet, we are the same in our so common pursuit of happiness. Moreover, it is none of anyone’s business how a person chooses to live their lives, who they fall in love with, who they go to bed with, what they do there, as long as they do not hurt anyone and as long as they choose what to share.
Truth is also that we usually desire what we cannot have. Probably that is why some men are ready to give anything to have a lesbian performance live, for them only. Well, I guess in real life that will be a rarity, so I believe porn will have to do for now.
Interview taken by: Masa Lauper
Text: Geri Decheva